Henny Youngman: Difference between revisions

Henry "Henny" Youngman (16 March 1906 – 24 February 1998) was a comedian and violinist famous for "one-liners", short simple jokes usually delivered rapid-fire.

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• The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
  • "Forbes‎" - Vol. 166, Page 156, de Bertie Charles Forbes - Forbes Inc., 2000

• Take my wife - please!
  • Take My Wife, Please!: Henny Youngman's Giant Book of Jokes (1999)

• Business was so bad the other night the orchestra was playing "Tea for One."
  • Don't Put My Name on this Book (1976), p. 92

• My first Hollywood picture wasn't released, it escaped.
  • Insurance Newsweek, volume 45 (1944), page 60

Lawrence J. Epstein's "The Haunted Smile: The Story of Jewish Comedians in America" (2001)

• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

• My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

• My wife told me the car wasn't running well. There was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was, and she told me it was in the lake.

• My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

• My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but can she climb a tree.

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Henny Youngman