‘You won’t get a 100% match; if 60-70% of your criteria are met, you should proceed’: Sima Taparia shares thumb rule of successful matchmaking

What motivated you to become a matchmaker?

Since childhood, I had the ability to talk to people, understand them, scan them, connect with them, and, in general, be social. So, I started matchmaking among family, relatives, and friends. In fact, 25 years ago I helped my sister, who is happily married in Boston, find her life partner. After that, my husband suggested to me pursue it as a career, and finally in 2005, I started doing this full-fledged. I thought it would be my contribution to helping the society and the community.

How would you describe being a part of Indian Matchmaking?

I did not expect anything from the show. In fact, I was confused about whether I should even be a part of it. But even when I finally decided to host the show, I thought it to be like any other show. But, to my utter surprise, the show launched on July 16, 2020, and went viral the very next day. It got an amazing response, and I used to receive so many emails and phone calls. So, I would say that it has been a dream come true. The world is loving the third season as much, all thanks to the show’s emotional touch.

 

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But, is traditional matchmaking still relevant in the era of matrimonial apps and sites?

It varies from person to person — some people prefer apps, while many others still reach out to traditional matchmakers. But I can say that after the show, many youngsters are opting for arranged marriages because they want to do it the traditional way. And mind you, this is not about societal pressure, but about a secure marriage as two families are involved in the process from the start.

Based on your understanding and experience, in what ways have arranged marriages evolved over the years?

Arranged marriages are often seen as a practical and efficient way to find a life partner as families act as intermediaries in the process of matchmaking. They are believed to foster stronger family bonds and social stability. In recent times, the practice of arranged marriage has evolved to become more modern and flexible with individuals having more input and agency in the process of selecting a partner.

You’ve always stressed the importance of “adjusting” and “compromising” in a relationship. Why?

As partners, we need to understand, adjust, and give space to each other — qualities that are very necessary for a good and healthy relationship. Also, patience is extremely important, something youngsters are lacking today. So, I suggest them to drop their ego, be flexible and appreciate each other, which will help them lead a smooth life.

 

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What are the dos and don’ts you stick to while matchmaking?

I go to my clients’ house personally. I meet them, scan their biodata, ask their criteria, meet their family, understand their standard of living, and accordingly match them with other people. These days, the youth watches so many movies and television shows which leads to unrealistic expectations about marriage and love. So, as a matchmaker, my motto is to tell them that they won’t get everything because the real world doesn’t work like that. In simple words, you won’t get 100%; if 60-70% of your criteria are met, you should proceed. You can work to make it a 100% with your partner. Another thing which I tell them is to understand the family you are getting married into, along with the upbringing of the suitor. Other factors like education, beauty, mental wavelength and chemistry come afterward.

But you have not been successful in making a single match on the show. What do you think the reason is?

 

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The goal of the show was to show the process of Indian matchmaking to the world. In five months, how do you think it is possible that everyone will get married? If I was God, I would have matched three successful couples every day. But I am not. And since it’s a reality show, the success rate is very low because everything is real.

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