i still dont know how to say everything. on this watchthrough i noticed that at the downed powerline, the episode guide page owen picks up is for season 6, episode 1, escape from the midnight realm.
do we ever know the edges of whats real and whats the show? i dont think either version of the pink opaque is a literal representation of the show. it's owens feelings. the intensity, the shame. the bits of himself he cant acknowledge so he frames them through isabel. it's safer if it's through isabel.

i named myself after a harry potter character so obviously i do have some skin in this game.

i dont like. i feel uncomfortable using "i relate to this" as a critical approach but like fuck man. nothings ever made me feel like this. when i was 17 i was so sure i'd die if i stayed in florida. this movie feels like someone peeled me apart and showed me the layers. it's a feeling ive been chasing in my own work for decades. i hope one day i can make something that makes someone feel the way this makes me feel.

the ending: i think of revolutionary girl utena, actually. a small moment of recognition. owen sees inside himself, finally. it's enough. it has to be enough.