• Child's Play

    Child's Play

    ½

    i like good movies and bad movies but i cant abide BORING movies. >:(

  • Cars 2

    Cars 2

    ½

    1. lasseter walked into the pixar office and said guys, guys, get this: sir tow mater. and they said lasseter you sonofabitch youve done it again. and then they reverse engineered this entire movie so that they could deliver that punchline and nothing will convince me otherwise 
    2. fuck mater i hate that guy
    3. i revisited the list of questions i wrote for the original cars and i do think cars 2 provided some useful answers:

    if california exists…

  • I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

    I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

    ½

    a fascinating time capsule into the public perception of the gay marriage debate a mere 16 years ago. made it about half way, accidentally hit a button and closed it, and shrugged and said well thats probably fine

  • Needle in a Timestack

    Needle in a Timestack

    ½

    i have truly never felt so duped by a trailer and i will be invoicing mr ridley for my time

  • Bros

    Bros

    ½

    god. i wanted to like this one, really i did, but even as a rom com it just... does not do it at all. some funny jokes completely buried in sheer condescension toward both the queer and straight audience. bobbys character made me want to tear my hair out! the self centeredness! 
    like dont get me wrong gay people deserve shitty movies too but Oof
    edit: coming back to take away a star because this movie plagues me. i'll be minding my own business and then think, damn, what a terrible film and be angry all over again

  • Tiptoes

    Tiptoes

    okay. the thing is. there is no way around the core conflict being an eugenics thing. like the central piece of the film is two able bodied people deciding if having a potentially disabled child is acceptable. despite one of those two people being raised by little people so like what the fuck is the deal with your politics! and this question is never interrogated; it's "resolved" but the underlying assumption that having a child with dwarfism is inherently and always negative is…

  • Foodfight!

    Foodfight!

    "This is like hell." -- Someone in the row behind me at the Alamo

    "I was walking among the fires of Hell, delighted with the enjoyments of Genius; which to Angels look like torment and insanity." -- William Blake

  • Alpha and Omega

    Alpha and Omega

    listicle concept: top 10 alpha and omega movie franchise films

  • Love Actually

    Love Actually

    👎

  • Love Hard

    Love Hard

    i'm too stoned to articulate how this made me feel but net negative

  • Elvis

    Elvis

    theres a moment where austin butler as elvis puts on a record of an elvis song- i cant remember which - and my partner, who was half-watching, asked me why on earth they did that. "oh well," i said generously, "it's diagetic, he's putting a record on in the scene, so it makes sense it isnt elvis' recording."

    "that's kacey musgrave," they said.

  • Drive-Away Dolls

    Drive-Away Dolls

    ★½

    irritating.