Denis Leary’s Wife Ann Reveals Secret to Their Decades-Long Marriage: 'I'm Fascinated By Him'

Ann Leary is revealing the surprising secret behind her decades-long marriage to Denis Leary — space.

The author, 61, who has been married to the actor, 66, since 1989, discussed why their busy lives have allowed their relationship to flourish during the Monday, July 8 episode of The Martha Stewart Podcast.

"What is it like living with Denis, who comes and goes?" host Martha Stewart asked Ann. "Like, I mean, he's busy. He's busy with his career. He's always going to Canada."

Ann expressed that not getting to see each other as much as they would like, "especially early on in the marriage," has been "key."

"I think that's the key to a successful marriage," she laughed. "I'm fascinated by him."

"It's wonderful when he comes home. He always works with really interesting people," Ann continued. "As you know, Martha, I'm a bit of a hermit. So I like to hear what exciting things he's done, but I like to stay home. But I just find him funny. I think we just — we get along. We have [a] great history together."

Their relationship is also one of constant communication.

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now!

"We've been together so long, no matter where he is, he'll call me and say, 'turn on CNN,' or 'turn on this channel,' because it's somebody," said Ann. "We both have a thing because, in the past, we knew. It's just fun to have that kind of history. You probably have friends like that. You know?"

Their love story is the topic of Ann's essay collection, I've Tried Being Nice, released in June.

While speaking about the book release to PEOPLE, Ann shared that having her loved one's consent to speak about their private lives is always at the forefront.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

"Anything that I write about my family, they get to see before it's published anywhere, because if they don't like it, I don't wanna publish it," she said. "Writing essays, you have to be so careful about people's feelings, like your husband's and your children's and your parents. You have to tell your truth, but I like to be mindful of the privacy of people in my life."