AMP
The Official Student Opinion and Satire Magazine of UTD
![](https://cdn.statically.io/img/www.ampatutd.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/sexy-temoc-2.png)
Satire
In Support of CometLustPortal™v1.0
The Texas state government has been on an anti-Comet crusade since last June, with legislation specifically targeting the state’s access to scandalous content. Take one step into ECS South, a wasteland rife with the remains of Comet residue, and you will understand why this is such a clear affront to our student body. In a […]
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Satire
UTD’S Most Wanted
UTD is famous for many things — our problematic alumni, our undefeated football team, our obsessive psychosexual attachment to Temoc and his oily abs — and now we have another achievement to add to the list. For the first time, the U.S. News and World Report has ranked UTD as No. 1 for Most Villainous […]
Print Issues
Satire
You Don’t Know This Literal Criminal Like I Do
this literal criminal isn’t THAT bad
![](https://cdn.statically.io/img/www.ampatutd.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/04/bars_not_bullets.png)
Politics
Satire
Spit Bars, Not Bullets
Homicide? Nah. Homies RHYME.
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Satire
Two Virgins Preach About Sex (And Yes, You Should Listen)
The Ultimate Authority on SEX: Two Virgins
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Satire
In Regards to Parking
Dear Comets, With the recent construction occurring around campus, especially near the Student Union and the Student Success Center, we have received various concerned messages over the past few months regarding the state of campus parking. In regards to this, The University of Texas at Dallas community is asked to make note of the following […]
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Print Issues
Satire
The Big Comet Conundrum
I enjoy living my life like a film noir, complete with a fedora, cigar — oh, and a magnifying glass. When my professors ask where I was during class time, I only have one answer: searching for clues. You might catch me peering through a suspicious keyhole or sitting on the wrong side of a […]
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Print Issues
Satire
AMP Unraveled
As we all know, AMP is the student organization that makes the monthly magazines you are currently reading. However, what you may have also noticed is a regular pattern of content from these heathens. They constantly include art of our lovely school mascot, Temoc. Art of Temoc isn’t inherently wrong, but AMP isn’t just making […]
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Politics
Satire
How to Forge an Iron Fist
How do I rule with an iron fist? This has been the question on every political leader’s mind since humans first took up the practice of agriculture and immediately began schemes to control others. You might think that emulating the decrees of past sovereigns would guarantee you permanent power, but the crucial commonality that unites […]
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Satire
Navigating a Situationship
SITUATIONSHIPS: all the cool kids are doing it
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Entertainment
Satire
Anime: The 13th Apostle?!
The Church Doesn’t Want You to Know THIS About Anime!
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Satire
Once You Go Greek, You Don’t Go Back
‘Sup fellow Bromets, the name’s Chaz Hollister, president of Delta Sigma Chi-Square Alpha, the raddest party frat on campus. Now, it’s already October, but I’m still hearing freshies at the Plinth complain that UTD’s social life is dead. And this saddens me dudes, my dad didn’t buy three new buildings and get rid of Green […]