How can you develop resilience when your coaching and mentoring clients resist change?

I ask the "magic dust" question. If we sprinted magic dust onto your context, would we be different in the before and after? The bigger the difference, the easier to motivate change.

Back in 2012, my boss gave me a valuable advise of life. When a consultant goes to a client (who have been working in a specific way for 20 yrs) & mention that whatever they are doing is wrong, that point onwards, they will not accept anything you try to bring in. Hence the first step to do is to join them in their activities & follow what they are doing. Then bring in small change & see whether they accept it. Slowly build the trust and then make the changes slow, so that the clients don't understand that it is a complete revamp.

Resilience needs a lot of patience , perseverance to bring in the change but the resisting the same need to be evaluated first. Change is beneficial when one understand the need of it and the positive influence it carries with. Setting the best expectations which is fruitful and full of achievements can make the coaching result oriented . You , being a coach not only need empathize your clients but also need to create a pathway to make the change needful . Understanding the change , and taking a feedback to understand the same is necessary

By 1) first accepting that the situation is what the situation is. 2) And understand that people have good reasons to resist change. Two possibilities : you have not yet been listening enough , basically you might find an even better solution when you do! The other possibility is the reasons why they resist change is out of fear, based in their past experiences. 3) the solution is more compassion and really listening instead of more convincing.

You have to insert yourself as a mentor into their environment to understand the reason why they resist change. This would help you look for other strategies to improve your approach to communicate with them effectively. You start implementing your technique small at a time. See if it works and move forward.

There are useful frameworks and interventions to make sure this is done effectively such as Immunity to Change and the Disconnected Values Model.

After understanding client resistance, the next step is to illuminate the benefits of change. This involves showcasing how change can bring opportunities for growth, innovation, and improvement. We engage clients in envisioning the positive outcomes, not just in their professional sphere but across various aspects of their lives. Discussing real-world examples and potential success stories helps clients see change as a gateway to new possibilities. By emphasizing these positives, we shift the focus from fear of the unknown to excitement for the future, paving the way for a more positive acceptance of change.

It is also interesting when the context allows to have an open discussion with the client, and discuss where they will be in 6 months if no change happens.

Understanding the change's importance fosters their participation in the transformation. Personally, I would involve them from the outset to ensure they are part of the change.

focusing on long-term goals, and outcomes has always been my main approach not only for inspiring change, but teaching and learning overall 💯

Self-efficacy is born of success. Use truly effective goal setting to help them set goals that are meaningful and attainable. Don't set goals too soon. At the beginning, the best goals can be reflective in nature, working through the situation mentally and emotionally before tackling behavior change.

Trying to set expectations during change is like trying to predict the weather in a zoo - you might have an idea , but you will still be surprised by the monkeys flinging unexpected situations your way ! It is important to be pragmatic and the first step would be to acknowledge that change is natural and this means that there would be setbacks . Reflect on these experiences, learn from them and adapt your approach accordingly . Secondly focus on what you can control and concentrate efforts there which leads me to my third point to clearly communicate expectations to all stakeholders involved in the change process. Resilience isn’t about avoiding stress or difficult situations ; it’s about adapting and bouncing back stronger from them.

One of the main reasons people don’t succeed in achieving their goals is because they are to broad. I witness this every new year with New Year’s resolutions. For example, my client might set the goal to live a healthier lifestyle, which is very broad. I would ask them, “What does a healthier lifestyle look like to you? Be specific!” They might respond, “Loosing weight.” I would ask them to tell me, “How do they plan to achieve this?” They may reply, “By exercising more.” This is still too broad. I’d advise my client to be more specific (e.g., I will workout 5 days a week for a minimum of 1hr at 8am before work.). I’d have them identify potential barriers in achieving this goal (e.g., traffic) so we can account for those beforehand.

Create realistic goals for the individual. Then use measurable objectives that connect operationally to the work they are doing or the development needed to achieve those objectives. With a vision on what "I" can do and a way to measure themselves against that expectation people get to feel ownership and accountability to the change. You can then connect this to the fears they have around the change and create a space where it is safe to fail. Where growth is not met with punishment and coach them into finding the opportunities when things don't go as planned and the strength of being agile.

Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today. Goals are great to give you a sense of direction, but creating effective systems is what will eventually get you where you want to go. When you set goals you win only once, when you apply your systems you win every single day!

None of us is above or too good for coaching! It's the basis of our profession. Having a mentor coach can be one of the most powerful learning experiences for a coach. Practice what you preach, right? In additional to developing clients, coaches can benefit from developing a circle of colleagues they can reflect and grow with.

As Mentors and Coaches, we do not know all the answers. We need to keep with us a support network of people with whom we can talk, share experiences and help us to figure out the path ahead when facing challenges in our practice. We certainly can use Mentors and Coaches ourselves! But beyond that obvious point, it is important that we join and participate in communities of practice, to keep appraised of new developments in our practice and keep sustained growth. A trust Mentor, a good Coach and help us untable from client situations were it is not clear to us what to do.

A professional coach knows they need supervision, mentoring and coaching themselves. Only a growing coach can be coaching growing people ;-)

I firmly believe that feedback is the lifeblood of improvement. Without it, we're left guessing whether our efforts are on the right track. That's why I value every single comment and take responsibility for how I respond to it. I recognize that not all feedback is positive, but I choose to focus on what helps me grow. As a coach, my approach is to accentuate the positives while delivering constructive criticism in a way that strengthens relationships and fosters growth. By seeking feedback and support, I believe we can refine our approach, align with our goals, and continually improve.

Supervision ist im psychotherapeutischen Bereich verpflichtend und sollte es meiner Meinung nach auch im Coaching und Mentoring sein. Selbst erfahrene Therapeuten und Coaches unterliegen immer wieder dem sog. Interferenzfehler - dem Wahrnehmungsfehler des "von sich auf andere Schließens". Immer wieder einen Blick von außen auf den Prozess und die eigene Rolle im Prozess zu bekommen ist sehr wertvoll und sollte in meinen Augen von allen Coaches von Zeit zu Zeit in Anspruch genommen werden.

Es ist mit der Selbstfürsorge im Coaching/Mentoring ähnlich wie beim plötzlichen Druckabfall im Flugzeug. Man muss selbst eine Sauerstoffmaske tragen, um verlässlich den Menschen auf den Nachbarplätzen beim Aufsetzen ihrer Maske helfen zu können.

Self-care is the most important thing you can do as a coach! That means having set times to be 'client facing' and having a daily/monthly routine that fits into your life. Too many times we try to be all things to all people. This is a recipe for burnout. Create your routine so it works for your design and you will see better outcomes and be more productive.

Besides for practice what you preach (which I mentioned before) And besides for lead by example and be an inspiration etc Your well being is so important- even more so because we’re serving others. Being able to show up the way we do - in another persons world- can be draining - it’s even more important to make that effort of self care. Besides daily rituals that are usual healthy choices - I highly recommend other types of self care that is unique to you. Things that light you up - hobbies or fun activities. Or monthly massage, energy healing, float tank etc Retreats or vacations … Take time to be. Because you’re worth it.

Most of us know what to do. Are you DOING it? Ethically, coaches should be "practicing what we preach" with balance and self-care being top priorities. Not only does it protect you, it protects your client.

1. Inspirieren statt missionieren: Preach what you practice, practice what you preach. Wahre Transformation kommt davon, den Weg selbst voranzuschreiten. 2. Erst wenn du in deiner eigenen Kraft bist, hast du auch die Kraft, um andere zu unterstützen. Das ist keinesfalls egoistisch, sondern Selbstfürsorge. "Liebe deinen Nächsten WIE DICH SELBST", sagte dazu bereits Jesus Christus.

Part of the reflection may be to ask if the client was ready for coaching. We can pressure ourselves to take on clients for income and business growth reasons when in reality they may not have been ready for such a coaching relationship. Sometimes, saying "no" to a potential new client is the best decision.

Expect resistance. Resistance is a natural occurrence when a person is working through change. It can show up in different ways - from the client repeatedly forgetting or not having time for their coaching tasks to directly pushing back on an idea, challenge or action. As a coach adopting the mindset of compassion & compassionate enquiry helps to hold the space for resistance. Enabling the client to explore their resistance, gain insights and move forward in the discomfort. Learning to deal with resistance is a powerful skill for any coach to develop. Expect resistance as a natural part of coaching, see the growth opportunity of resistance and develop the skill to support a client through their resistance through compassionate enquiry.

One can also look at Latham and Locke's research on the topic where they talk about ensuring that there is- 1. Clarity 2. Commitment 3. Feedback 4. Challenge 5. Complexity while setting goals.

Learn and grow.... Something we have a hard time with. I am always encouraging my team to learn and grow. I tell them in order to do this, we need to prune the dead leaves from our path so that we are able to grow. These dead leaves may be mistakes or ways we did things but did not work out. If we do not prune them, we will not be able to grow.

Challenge your client - In my coaching experience, when a client responds with a 'No' to trying a different approach, I always encourage them to perceive it as a challenge for a few days and set a reward for achieving it. Hand-holding the client is crucial in this phase, as often they may not sense the urgency of the situation.

One way to address resistance in resilience is to use a structured change management approach that involves engaging the stakeholders of the change, such as senior leaders, managers, and employees. This approach can help to: • Explain the need and the benefits of the change, and how it aligns with the vision of the organization • Consult the stakeholders in the planning and implementation of the change, and solicit their feedback • Provide adequate training, coaching, and support to help the stakeholders learn new skills and attitudes • Recognize the efforts and achievements of the stakeholders, and celebrate the successes of the change • Monitor and evaluate the progress and outcomes of the change, and make adjustments as needed

Here is my approach to encourage change - tell them the change - Bribe them for change - Pressure them for change - Show them the change - Attract them towards the change Based on the context you can apply any of these. My choice is "ATTRACT" which is WIN for WIN for both parties

to develop resilience :- - Helping client finding his "why" is fundamental as it fuels his determination. It creates a strong sense of purpose in him to *welcome a change in his life pattern* The awareness of his reason to change becomes the source of inner strength helping him weather challenges, setbacks, and obstacles more effectively

Your clients are allowed to resist. You can’t force them to change though you can offer guidance. As long as you know that you’re showing up at your best for them, you’ve done your job. The rest is up to them. And some, will decide not to change. And, guess what? That’s ok.

Dans un échec personnel ou professionnel, il y a 90% de bonnes choses à retirer. Évidemment on en sort jamais indemne mais plus grand et plus fort ! La seule personne à pouvoir vous aider et à prendre les bonnes décisions : c est vous-même ! Alors rechercher cette force intérieure qui fera que les pires moments seront derrière vous. La seule manière c est de se préoccuper de l avenir, m avait dit un ami qui a eu une vie particulièrement complexe! C est fondamental d avoir la capacité à créer et dessiner un avenir plus radieux avec de meilleurs moments et de meilleures personnes qui sauront encourager vos initiatives. Allez go ! On se bouge ! Bonne année 2024 à tous