Bereavement support needs to come in different shapes and sizes
Age, gender, ethnicity, and sexuality can all affect people's choices of formal and informal bereavement support, as well as how helpful they find it.
Losing someone important to us can be a very painful process to go through but is something that nearly all of us will experience.
Since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, the number of people dying has increased. For each person who has died, there will be many more family members and close friends who are grieving. Many of those will want to seek help and support during their bereavement. But not all will get the support they want and need.
To better understand the differences in support that grieving people are seeking, we analysed survey data collected as part of the UK Commission on Bereavement's investigation into the changing landscape of bereavement support in the UK.
Men want to talk with men they trust
Male respondents to the survey would choose to talk to their family and friends, preferably other men, feeling more comfortable with people they already know.
Many shared they found it challenging to talk about grief. Those who were not able to talk to or trust friends and family found it difficult access help outside of this network. In these circumstances they generally preferred peer group support over more formal one-to-one counselling.
I think man sheds are a great idea because we cannot reach out say I need help.
Improving and providing more informal and peer group support was therefore suggested as a way to encourage more men to access support.
This includes activity-based support and hubs within the local community, peer support specifically tailored to men, and practical advice and workshops to help manage grief.
Recognising the diversity of beliefs around dying and death
Many people from ethnic minority groups said that there is a need for greater understanding of their culture and beliefs around dying, death and bereavement.
Some respondents described how the lack of awareness greatly diminished the value of the support offered to them. Others shared that they were unaware of any bereavement support services that were available.
They didn't understand the distress I faced over cultural and religious rituals denied because of covid.
One way to address this is for bereavement support services to ensure they advertise local services and ways to access information in community spaces, like places of worship.
A space to talk for the LGBTQ+ community without fear of being judged
LGBTQ+ respondents described how helpful and effective bereavement support needs to be based on a sense of belonging and being understood. Having a space to talk without judgement and fear of discrimination was deemed an important part of getting support.
Knowing that there is no judgement or barriers that would be in the way to access these services.
There needs to be increased advertising about support available that is LGBTQ+ aware and informed and ensure these are signposted accurately.
Different age groups want to access support in different ways
For participants over 50, the main concern about seeking support was not wanting to be a nuisance. They also said they felt as though they should keep the past hidden and private.
There was also a reluctance to access digital, remote, and online support, so the reliance of these forms of contact isn't best suited to this generation. Whereas respondents under 50 tended to want a greater provision of flexible and online support, accessible around work commitments and childcare responsibilities.
Some younger respondents reported how they did not feel supported and validated in society because of their age, leading to feelings of their needs not being as important as others.
The last thing I wanted to be was a nuisance especially as I knew there were/are of people far worse off than me.
To make bereavement support accessible for all ages, it needs to be flexible, with options for both online and in-person support. It also needs to be normalised, so people feel comfortable accessing services that could help them.
We must be able to support everyone that needs it, rather than take a one-size-fits-all approach.
This project was a further analysis of the UK Commission on Bereavement survey data. Read the full report and recommendations .
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