I volunteered at the hospice for nearly 20 years – and now I’m a patient here

I knew immediately that I wanted to be a part of the work they did at Marie Curie by becoming a volunteer. But I didn’t want to walk out the hospice that day and for life to get in the way, and never make the call.

So on my way out, I walked onto one of the wards and put my name down to be contacted. I knew if I didn’t do it then I might never.

A very special place

As a volunteer, I spoke to patients, made coffees and then did a course to become a bereavement counsellor. I also did reception work upstairs. I worked there for two to three days a week. And that’s how I came to know Marie Curie.

It’s a very special place, and the people that work here are devoted to what they do.

I cared tremendously for all the people I helped. If I didn’t care and if I didn’t put my heart into the work, I probably would have changed and gone somewhere else. Everyone, patients, staff and the volunteers I met, have a special spot in my heart.

My colleagues are so kind

It is strange to now be a patient here. But I feel lucky to be amongst people I know, amongst friends and colleagues at the hospice. And the care I received was excellent. It was warm and loving.

But I think in life, we’re asked to play different roles. If I’m a little bit down or I’m a little bit in pain, I immediately become a patient. And if somebody walks into my room and says ‘I’m fed up’ or ‘I’m tired’ then I’ll immediately become a counsellor.

I was in the day patient’s unit. I didn’t volunteer in the wards. Now I’m a patient I can see the hospice from a patient’s view.

My colleagues are so kind to those that have been diagnosed. One needs kindness. One needs patience or else one can fall into panic. It feels as if I’m with family. My family are in Australia, but it doesn’t feel like I’m far away from home because I’m with people I know.

I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else if something should happen to me. I’d want to be here amongst those that I love and know me.

Whatever is going to be, is going to be

I had friends who came to visit me here, two women, my dear friends. Since the lockdown they can’t come and I miss them tremendously, so we talk on the phone, waiting to one day meet again.

It’s very difficult, especially as we started this journey together. They were the ones who took me to hospital when I became ill.

But I feel, whatever is going to be is going to be. At the moment we’re all laughing. I have a nephew who lives in London and we talk on a daily basis. We were laughing that we have nothing to say because nothing is happening. But one day we will all meet again, I’m sure.