January
Birdsong
At one point, Eddie Redmayne took so long to look up, bashfully, at Isabelle, that his eyes moved at the rate of what is scientifically proven to be the slowest, most effortfully advancing thing known to man: a Goth trying to climb up a rope. His eyes just ... hung off the bottom of the rope, uselessly; waiting for a bum shift-up from the teacher.
February
Madonna at the Super Bowl
Blimey — you, Madonna. You astride a gigantic golden throne, being hauled into the Super Bowl arena ... I am looking at you, Madonna. Just like I have all my life. God I have drunk a lot of this brandy. I fragging lobe you, Madonna! Where have all my crisps gone?
March