Talk:Yume Nikki: Dream Diary/GA1

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Adam (talk · contribs) 02:11, 4 June 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Skyshifter (talk · contribs) 23:07, 8 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

I'll review this soon. Skyshiftertalk 23:07, 8 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

• Images have valid fair use rationales
• No copyvio

• The lead describes the game as an "adventure horror game", but this isn't sourced in the body and the infobox only has "adventure" as a genre.

  Done added to body and horror to infobox; publications are somewhat loathe to precisely define its genre but this seems like a fair summary (i.e. not all of them say "it is a horror game" but they don't contradict the critics who do call it one)

• I did a minor copyedit to the lead.
• "and according to Playism" – this can be removed. You usually don't need to attribute what the developers themselves say about their game, and this doesn't seem like a controversial statement

  Done - this seems reasonable given my rereading of sources now, but for context it's unknown to what extent he was involved with the game and (I don't care to pull up every source to check which) I recall at least one or two sources questioning the claim entirely as there was really no way of confirming Kikiyama's involvement. Because most sources appear to have taken their word for it, I removed it, but it could certainly undergo a larger discussion if someone challenged it.

• "supervision by" → "supervision from"

  Done

• While the lead describes Dream Diary as an "adventure horror game", this is not mentioned here.

  Done

• "2004 game Yume Nikki" – link the game here

  Done

• "exited" → "left"

why?

• "The game has a minimal plot" → "Dream Diary has a minimal plot"

  Done

• "although there are some cutscenes which contain", for simplicity

  Not done - this is to emphasize the presence of the cutscenes, which might not be expected for a "plotless" game; "...although there are cutscenes..."

• Link "items" to Item (game terminology)

  Done

• Remove link from Yume Nikki if added to Gameplay

  Done

• You can remove "reportedly" here, for the same reason as for removing "and according to Playism" in the lead

  Done

I did some rewriting and adding to this section as well

• You should try to add the reviews by MeriStation (reliable per WP:VGRS) and TechTudo (large Brazilian tech website; GAs like Pixel Gun 3D use it).

will do tomorrow

  Done

• "he and Shive complimented the creature designs" cite the DualShockers review again

  Done

• "lambasted" in the second paragraph seems to strong? "Criticize" or something similar would work
• "criticized" is used a lot in the last paragraph; could replace with other words

Soon. Skyshiftertalk 18:23, 13 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

Just a note that I'll be adding those reviews and possibly one or two more sources in the next ~day, would appreciate those being included in checks as well. Thank you! ~Adam ^{(talk · contribs)} 19:16, 15 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

@Skyshifter: Sorry for the delay, added everything I wanted to, including the two sources you mentioned. ~Adam ^{(talk · contribs)} 01:25, 19 July 2024 (UTC)Reply

Checking 1, 3, 7, 16.

• 1: OK, though I'm a little unsure on the "bootleg DVD covers" part. The article implies that Smith directly compared the world designs to "bootleg DVD covers", but in the source it wasn't direct.
• 3: OK
• 7: OK
• 16: OK

  On hold Skyshiftertalk 01:14, 20 July 2024 (UTC)Reply