Talk:Battle of La Haye-du-Puits/GA1

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Reviewer: Hog Farm (talk · contribs) 17:24, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review this, hopefully over the coming weekend. Hog Farm _Talk 17:24, 15 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• For an article of almost 7,000 words, the lead could be fleshed out a bit more

  Never much good at leads. Expanded it a bit. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "for example, was attached to the 9th, 83rd and 90th Infantry Divisions" - is there a reason why the 9th Division is not linked here?

  Y Oversight. Linked. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "the commander of the German 353rd Infantry Division [de]." - I'd drop the interwiki link here; our article actually has more content than the German one

  Y Done. The article was written before the English version was created. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "even before the artillery had opened fire." - the German or American artillery?

  Y American. Clarified. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "With the envelopment maneuver had failed," - are we sure this is grammatically correct?
• Is is Le Salons or Le Sablons? Both spellings are used

  Y Typo. It is Les Sablons. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• " During the day, the 90th Infantry Division had advanced about 1,200 yards (1,100 m) at a cost of around 600 casualties,[58]" - this ends the paragraph. Is something missing on the end of this, or should the comma be a period?

  Y Changed comma to full stop. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "First Lieutenant Arch B. Hoge Jr. raised a Confederate flag that his father had carried in World War I and his grandfather had carried in the American Civil War over the town" - source mentions his uncle in WWI, not his father

  Y Oops. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• Who is Fales?

  Y Colonel Clarke K. Fales (1893-1981), commander of the 359th Infantry. Elucidated. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:16, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Ready for the 8-14 July section. Hog Farm _Talk 02:32, 21 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• "The 8th Infantry Division, despite captured the ridge overlooking the Ay River." (from the lead) - this is a sentence fragment

• Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:23, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• " and both the company commander and the [75] Company K withdrew under cover of darkness." - I can't tell if this is missing a word or has a bonus "the"

• Y Corrected. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:23, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'll finish up the required spot-checking later today. Hog Farm _Talk 19:56, 22 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

• On 10 July, the assistant division commander, Brigadier General Nelson M. Walker, was killed while trying to organise an infantry battalion for an attack is very closely paraphrased to the source text of the energetic assistant division commander, Brig. Gen. Nelson M. Walker, was killed as he attempted to organize an infantry battalion for an attack This is okay because the source is PD, but it still isn't great

• Y Trimmed. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 04:23, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I spot-checked several other passages and noted no issues. Hog Farm _Talk 03:03, 23 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]