Gift aid

Each year my sister and I have the same anxiety: is Mum going to be making Christmas “presents” for everyone again? I am particularly worried this year, because the Archbishop of Canterbury has decreed that “austerity” presents are in. Dead people’s tat from charity shops, offers of baby-sitting, making out blank cheques from the Bank of [insert your name here] — all these things are holier than spending £350 on bubble bath and knickers at Versace. But oh God, oh God, oh GOD, buying things from charity shops or making things is surely never, ever, ever, ever more holy than dropping a wad in the House of the Melting Dolphin, as I like to call Donatella’s luxurious and sophisticated temple to gladiator sandals and