Monday
Off to Brussels today for a week of Brexit negotiations. Before they start I have a last-minute conference call with the PM and the chancellor.
“So I hope you’ve done the work,” says Philip Hammond.
“Loads!” I say. “So much preparation! For example, did you know that most of Ireland was a different country? And there’s a border?”
“You’re . . . joking?” says Hammond.
“I wish!” I say. “It makes things really complicated! Who knew? Also, did you know that Jean-Claude Juncker and Michel Barnier are totally different people? Even though they look incredibly similar?”
Hammond says he did know this, yes.
“Well, I’m all over that,” I say, confidently. “Too.”
For a few moments, they both put me on mute. Then the