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JEREMY CLARKSON

Torture doesn’t work: threaten me and I’d cough to anything

The Sunday Times
Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland in 24, was not averse to unpleasant methods. But that was fiction
Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland in 24, was not averse to unpleasant methods. But that was fiction
TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX/DISNEY+

To try to understand what propelled those four gunmen into that Russian concert hall, it’s important to remember that they’re all from one of those landlocked and unpronounceable Stans, where, if you can’t get a job in the local potassium mine, there’s not much to do.

There’s not even anything to look at. It’s just mile after mile of gravel. You’d find more beauty in a Formula One driver’s man cave. Occasionally, though, after driving for six hours, you might see a group of men at the side of the road, in their standard-issue fake Addidas tracksuits, playing an incomprehensible card game involving pebbles, a dice and some twigs. The winner is the player with the biggest moustache.

Sometimes, someone will roll into what passes