Birthdays come but once a year. They’re certainly a great excuse for cake, gathering with loved ones and reflecting on another lap around the sun.
Birthdays also mean you need a clever way to wish a friend or family member well on their special day. Enter: Birthday jokes.
A simple “happy birthday!” often doesn’t cut it, whether via text message, email or handwritten card. Instead of just offering those two words and perhaps a few extra exclamation points, infuse your birthday greetings with a bit of humor.
Birthday jokes shine as brightly as candles on cake, and we’ve collected a stellar collection of birthday jokes that range from goofy knock-knock jokes to groan-worthy puns. We even threw some leap year birthday quips into the mix. Keep reading for an assortment of birthday jokes that are sure to leave the recipient grinning from ear to ear.
Just think of how touched someone in your inner orbit will feel when they get a handwritten card from you on their special day. Especially if that card includes one of these birthday jokes below. We won’t tell them where you got your zingers, we promise. But save us a piece of cake?
Classic birthday jokes
- Why did the teddy bear decline birthday cake? Because it was already stuffed.
- It was an emotional birthday — even the cake was in tiers.
- What’s a balloon’s least favorite type of music? Pop.
- What does cake and baseball have in common? They both need a batter.
- What is the best way to remember your partner’s birthday? Forget it once.
- Why did the birthday candle go to school? It was hoping to get a little brighter.
- Why did the birthday cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.
- What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? “Aye matey, I’m eighty.”
- Why did the birthday boy sprinkle sugar under his pillow? So he could have sweet dreams.
- Why do candles feel at home on a birthday cake? Because they’re surrounded by old flames.
- What did one plate say to the other plate on their birthday? “Lunch is on me.”
- How do you know you’re getting older? When the candles cost more than the cake.
- What did one candle say to the other candle? “Don’t birthdays just burn you up?”
- Why did the banana go to the birthday party? Because it was a-peeling.
- How did the grape feel on her birthday? She wine-d about turning a year older.
- What’s a birthday present’s favorite music genre? Wrap music.
- What did one birthday hat say to the other birthday hats? “You stay here, I’ll go on a head.”
- Why did the wise old turtle throw a party on his birthday? Because he wanted to shell-ebrate another year of life.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Wanda. Wanda who? Wanda wish you a happy birthday.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Justin. Justin who? Justin time for your birthday celebration.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Doughnut. Doughnut who? Doughnut forget it’s your special day.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Noah. Noah who? Noah good reason not to celebrate your birthday.
- Knock knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce wish you a happy birthday.
- What do you call a cat’s birthday celebration? A purr-ty.
- What do you give a 5,000-pound elephant for its birthday? I don’t know, but you better hope he likes his gift.
- What did the hamster wish for on its birthday? A wheel-y great year ahead.
- What did the rabbit say at its birthday party? “Lettuce celebrate.”
- What’s a frog’s favorite part of a birthday cake? The croak-olate frosting.
- Why did the bird refuse to share its birthday cake? Because it wanted to have its cake and tweet it too.
- How do dogs celebrate their birthday? With a paw-ty.
- What do you say to a goldfish on its birthday? “Have a fin-tastic day.”
- What do you say to a parakeet on its birthday? “Happy bird-day.”
- Why didn’t the ponies sing happy birthday to their friend? They were feeling horse.
- How does a birthday cake say goodbye? It says, “it’s been slice.”
- What do you get when you cross a birthday cake with a boxer? A heavyweight champion of desserts.
- What’s the difference between 17 and 18? One more candle and a lot more independence.
- What’s the difference between 20 and 21? One more candle and a lot more legal opportunities.
- My girlfriend's birthday is in a week and she said, “Nothing would make me happier than a diamond ring!” ... So I got her nothing.
- What do you say to a rabbit on its birthday? Hoppy Birthday!
- What do you think of the birthday candle sale? It’s a big blow-out.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite kind of birthday cake? “I scream” cake.
- What’s a dog’s favorite kind of birthday party? A ball.
- What kind of birthday cake is sad? One in tiers.
- How does a pickle celebrate its birthday? It relishes it.
- Why did the toddler put candles on the toilet? To have a birthday potty.
- Why did the cake cross the road? It heard there was a birthday party on the other side!
- How do you know you’re getting old? You get out of bed in the morning and find that you hurt yourself while sleeping.
- How do you know a birthday joke is a dad joke? When it becomes apparent!
- What did the big flower say to the little flower on its birthday? Happy birthday, bud.
- What did the birthday cake say to the party guests? Do you want a piece of me?
- What kind of birthday cake icing does a vampire like best? Blood orange.
- How does a mechanic ring in her birthday? She calibrates.
- What did one present say to the other? You’re a gift to be around.
- What’s a piece of bread’s favorite part at a birthday party? The toast.
- What do you always get on your birthday? A year older.
Let the birthday celebrations begin...
